Whom we were yesterday is not necessarily whom we are today or whom we will be tomorrow. Simply because situations change. Sometimes suddenly and drastically. We all know what sudden and drastic means today.
Behind the masks
When I was a child, tears for example were seen as a sign of weakness. I never cried, simply because I was not allowed to. As children raised in the ‘60s and ‘70s, we were told to stay strong at all times and we were not allowed to show any type of emotion, even when things went tough. We were considered to be strong when we could keep on smiling when we actually wanted to cry. We were wearing masks, a bit like we have to do today but for different reasons: we were asked to hide what we deeply felt in order to protect ourselves from worse. What “worse” meant at that time, was never explained.
The expression “keeping a stiff upper lip” is a silent remnant of that time. It meant “remaining resolute and unemotional when faced with situations you did not like”.
And we were applauded for doing so. Fortunately, today we know better.
“It’s time that we began to laugh and cry
and cry and laugh about it all again”
– Leonard Cohen.
Tears are signs of strength
Over time, I learned that tears are not at all signs of weakness. On the contrary, tears are signs of strength. They are the heart’s messengers of unspeakable love and concern. It is the heart that that starts speaking when the mind falls short of words. Tears come when you feel great happiness and deep concern at the same time. To put it simply, that is why people sometimes have tears in the face of long goodbyes, or upon seeing each other again unexpectedly after months or years.
“Le lacrime vengono dal cuore en non dal cervello.”
– Leonardo Da Vinci
Tears come from the heart, not from the brain
I do believe it is true. Tears come from the heart, not from the brain. When you are falling short of words, your heart silently takes over. You can be overwhelmed when you least expect it. It happens when you truly care with your heart and your soul… and when you are afraid of losing what you love.
Today we are all scared of losing what we love: family, loved ones, friends, neighbours, jobs, freedom, life as such.
So when you feel tears suddenly taking over, don’t see it as a weakness. It is human. Or when you see tears in someone’s eyes, understand he or she is actually strong. Take the time to understand and give support with just being there. Never say stupid things like “don’t cry” or “oh, please do relax”, or whatever other rational talk you can think of. The times of stiff upper lips are over.
Every day is a good day to laugh and cry.
Every day is a good day to forgive or to admit you were wrong.
Every day is a good day to follow your heart.
Every day is a good day to start all over again.
Every day is a good day to be kind and generous.
Wishing you a good day, everyday.