Why not giving a f*ck is a d*mned good strategy

It sometimes is difficult to make abstraction of stupid random things happening around you. It is easy to stumble into the trap of letting them bother you… and getting stressed out. The more you realise how insignificant some burdens are, the easier life will get.

Here are 9 things I try not to give a single F*CK about anymore :

1. Be normal
   I don’t give a f*ck about whether I am normal or not. What is normal? Everything depends on the situation you are in or the point of view you take.

   “Normal is an illusion.
   What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly”
   (Charles Adams)
   

   Moreover, if your goal is to be normal, there will be no room for fantasy or magic. Accept you are unique, have fun and dare to be crazy so every now and then.

   “La normalità è un’invenzione di chi è privo di fantasia”
   (Alda Merini)

2. Be Miss Perfect
   I don’t give a f*ck about being Miss Perfect. I am perfectly well imperfect. And that is fine. You may have a perfect beach body at 20 or 30. But at 40 or 50, you show a body that has a history, a body that has survived the storms of life.
   Your history is what made you into whom you are now. In doubt what to wear when you get older? That’s easy. I belief confidence and a smile are the prettiest things you can wear. The rest is secondary and not worth a f*ck.
3. What will others think
   I hate it when people say: “we cannot do this, because of what X might think“.
   These four words make sure that what you want to do is doomed to fail.

   What + Will + Others + Think
   =
   You + Are + Their + Prisoner

   I try not to give a f*ck about what other people think of me, because if you do, you live their lives. No matter what, others will always have an opinion about you, make assumptions and judge you. So, don’t bother too much. Never wait for explicit approval. It is your life, it is your responsibility, not theirs. Do what you like and like what you do.

4. Failure
   Many people have a very bad relationship with failure. They see it as a dead end, as a plan that didn’t work. They feel useless or not good enough. The truth, however, is different: successful people often fail before they reach success. They fail at least a couple of times. And they experience failure as an opportunity to learn and do better next time.
   In the unlikely event a first try would turn out to be a major success, you can consider it the same as winning the lottery. Don’t fool yourself: don’t expect to win the lottery!

   “Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up”
   (Chinese proverb)

5. High-maintenance and self-centered people
   I have decided not to give a f*ck anymore about people who think the world revolves around them. Whether they are relatives, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, I don’t feel obliged to spend my time with people who spread negativity, who criticise everything, who want to change you, who enjoy making you feel small and humiliate you. These are all acts of fear and insecurity from their side. Some people really suck energy. Leave them. Forget them.

   “Rudeness is a weak man’s imitation of strength”
   (Eric Hoffer)

6. Social media pressure
   I don’t give a f*ck about social media pressure. Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and the likes are fun places… but they are fake for the larger part. It looks like everyone is having the time of their lives, and are living non-stop in a perfect world. This is fake. Nobody has the time of their lives 24/7. We all have happy moments, yes, but not all the time.

   

   When I am sitting in a bar or restaurant, I feel sorry for people who are constantly on their phones, texting to distant others instead of enjoying the company of their table companion to the fullest. When going out, I want to share time, stories and adventures with the ones at my table, and not with others. So, next time you are going out, think of leaving that d*mned phone in your handbag or pocket… until you need that app to find out where you parked your car.

7. The grass is always greener elsewhere
   I don’t give a f*ck about greener grass. I do not feel the need to compare grass. I know it is not greener. Of course, there will always be people who are better off or wealthier than you are. So what? Material possessions do not stand for happiness. The rich and famous also have their fair share of issues.
   So, let’s focus on what we have and not on what we don’t have or never will have. Once you start appreciating what you have, you will see it really is a lot.  The most important things being memorable moments and happy memories. In other words, things money can’t buy.
8. The past
   I don’t give a f*ck about the past. Ruminating about things that happened in the past and that you didn’t like, does not help you any further. You cannot go back and change the course of events. All the “what if”‘, “why not” and “I maybe should have” thoughts are useless. The past is over. Accept it. Focus on the present and on what you want to achieve next.

   “What’s past is prologue”
   (Shakespeare)

9. Regret
   Don’t spend time regretting. Whatever you did at a certain point in life, was exactly what you wanted or made you happy then. Never regret a single day in your life. Good days brought memories and happiness. Bad days experience and lessons. Learn from all of them and move on.

   What is meant to happen, will happen. What is not your destination, was at least good preparation.