As a linguist (yes, I also have a Master in Linguistics :)), I truly adore Oscar Wilde for his wit: a combination of contrary elements that make his style so full of irony and paradox.
On being your true self:
“Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”
On true friends:
“True friends stab you in the front.”
On men and women:
“I like men who have a future and women who have a past.”
On gentlemen:
“A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.”
On men understanding women:
“Women are made to be loved, not understood.”
On love and romance:
“Man always want to be a woman’s first love.
Women like to be a man’s last romance.”
On waiting:
“If you are not too long, I will wait for you all my life”.
On temptation:
“I can resist everything, except temptation.”
On experience:
“Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.”
On tragedy:
“There are only two tragedies in life:
one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”
On forgiveness:
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
On simplicity:
“I have the simplest taste, I am always satisfied with the best.”